Download PDF The Pure Lover A Memoir of Grief David Plante 9780807006207 Books
Download PDF The Pure Lover A Memoir of Grief David Plante 9780807006207 Books
Download As PDF : The Pure Lover A Memoir of Grief David Plante 9780807006207 Books
The Pure Lover is David Plante’s elegy to his beloved Nikos Stangos, their forty-year life together, and its tragic end. Written in vivid fragments that, like the pieces of a mosaic, come together into a glimmering whole, it shows us both the wild nature of grief and the intimate conversation that is love.
Download PDF The Pure Lover A Memoir of Grief David Plante 9780807006207 Books
"For all those in the civilized world dismayed by the recent setbacks queers have faced - novelist David Plante has written a powerful, baleful rallying cry that sings with divine grace to the loving relationship he had for over 40 years with his partner Nikos Stangos. His memoir, The Pure Lover, is a stunning, ethereal testimony to the love that can exist between gays.
The first chapters concern the family history of Nikos Stangos. Here, the reader is assured in that David had heard these stories from Nikos so many times that it would be very hard to place them in any specific place of telling, for the two men's histories had almost become one, with the memories mixed together. David writes with empathy of Nikos's past in Europe during the Second World War. And the reader comes to realize how miraculous it was that these two men, from different worlds, came out of loneliness and found each other.
And it is the descriptions of their simple, everyday loving interactions for each other that make this book sing. We laugh when we read that the first night they spent together Nikos just wanted to talk, while David was very confused by this. Yet, soon, Nikos made his bed their bed, and invited the emotional Plante to live with him. It struck me how unafraid each was to allow the other to see his vulnerabilities, whether this be David's insecurities as a writer or partner - or Nikos's insecurities about the relationship itself. The other would always be there in full support of the other. Slowly, these two young men built a life together filled with Christmas trees, dinner parties, and appreciation of art.
Indeed, these two were entwined with the last of the Bloomsburg group and often shared dinner and arguments with, among others, W.H. Auden. But what is even more impressive is that when the party cleared, and the two men were left alone, they would lovingly clean up the dishes together. And alone, they seemed able to entertain each other without end. "Your body flutters sometimes when we sleep," Nikos writes in his poetry to David. "I try to hold you. That is when I think that perhaps you/ Know the secrets of the weather."
When Nikos was dying of cancer, David was there washing and caring for him. He was standing in the doorway watching his love and noticed when he let out his last breath.
As a closed this book, I thought, "Would such a work be so interesting if it were about straight people?" And I'm not quite sure. But what is clear is that the love between these two men was blessed by the heavens, both East and West, Old and New. It was filled with mystery, wonder -- and problems that they solved together. Whether straight or gay, so many desire what they had, and it seems the world was healthier and greater because of their partnership. I am not sure if the love between those two men was completely pure, for purity, is, as Nikos says, without definition. However, we are sure that the love David and Nikos had was mutual, grand, and real"
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The Pure Lover A Memoir of Grief David Plante 9780807006207 Books Reviews :
The Pure Lover A Memoir of Grief David Plante 9780807006207 Books Reviews
- his book is beautifully written, and told almost in fragments - but in a way that each fragment touches upon their relationship and prompted a thought or memory of mine. I do not know how many times I wept, and I know at least twice I openly sobbed. The beauty and at times simplicity of their love, that the love flourished, and enabled both to experience a freedom that only comes with true love - and the complete agony when one crosses over. It's here. If you're grieving, I recommend this read. You won't forget it.
- David Plante's elegy to his lover Nikos Stangos, The Pure Lover, is a heart-rending account of the forty years that Plante and Stangos were lovers, living in London. Though an elegy, The Pure lover is a paean to gay love, one that counts the joy and the pain of a lifetime of devotion. Their "marriage" ended with Nikos' death of cancer. Plante' prose is minimalist, but it is so highly suggestive that it reminds one of poetry. His book, I firmly believe, will attain the status of classic in the literature of grief. I most highly recommend it, it is a book that soars, and you will be uplifted. For more details about Plante and Stangos, I recommend Plante's diaries, the first, Becoming a Londoner, the second due to come out in 2015.
- For all those in the civilized world dismayed by the recent setbacks queers have faced - novelist David Plante has written a powerful, baleful rallying cry that sings with divine grace to the loving relationship he had for over 40 years with his partner Nikos Stangos. His memoir, The Pure Lover, is a stunning, ethereal testimony to the love that can exist between gays.
The first chapters concern the family history of Nikos Stangos. Here, the reader is assured in that David had heard these stories from Nikos so many times that it would be very hard to place them in any specific place of telling, for the two men's histories had almost become one, with the memories mixed together. David writes with empathy of Nikos's past in Europe during the Second World War. And the reader comes to realize how miraculous it was that these two men, from different worlds, came out of loneliness and found each other.
And it is the descriptions of their simple, everyday loving interactions for each other that make this book sing. We laugh when we read that the first night they spent together Nikos just wanted to talk, while David was very confused by this. Yet, soon, Nikos made his bed their bed, and invited the emotional Plante to live with him. It struck me how unafraid each was to allow the other to see his vulnerabilities, whether this be David's insecurities as a writer or partner - or Nikos's insecurities about the relationship itself. The other would always be there in full support of the other. Slowly, these two young men built a life together filled with Christmas trees, dinner parties, and appreciation of art.
Indeed, these two were entwined with the last of the Bloomsburg group and often shared dinner and arguments with, among others, W.H. Auden. But what is even more impressive is that when the party cleared, and the two men were left alone, they would lovingly clean up the dishes together. And alone, they seemed able to entertain each other without end. "Your body flutters sometimes when we sleep," Nikos writes in his poetry to David. "I try to hold you. That is when I think that perhaps you/ Know the secrets of the weather."
When Nikos was dying of cancer, David was there washing and caring for him. He was standing in the doorway watching his love and noticed when he let out his last breath.
As a closed this book, I thought, "Would such a work be so interesting if it were about straight people?" And I'm not quite sure. But what is clear is that the love between these two men was blessed by the heavens, both East and West, Old and New. It was filled with mystery, wonder -- and problems that they solved together. Whether straight or gay, so many desire what they had, and it seems the world was healthier and greater because of their partnership. I am not sure if the love between those two men was completely pure, for purity, is, as Nikos says, without definition. However, we are sure that the love David and Nikos had was mutual, grand, and real - David Plante's recounting of his meeting Nikos Stangos and their subsequent forty year relationship is a gift to the reader. It is both heartwarming and heartbreaking in its examining a relationship and the person loved. The beginning of the memoir is a brief retelling of Nikos' personal history - sometimes directed to Nikos as though he might offer a correction in a detail left out. It gives an account of their meeting and time together and apart - it isn't extensive, but a reflection back or overview - an expression of feeling and honoring the memory of two people whose relationship spanned decades. For some reason, the image of Monet's Water Lilies as a comparison comes to mind as a beautiful impression rather than exact likeness. David Plante's honesty particularly when recounting Nikos last days is the embodiment of the vows, "... from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part". The memoir is not depressing or bogged down in grief but a tribute to love and relationships.
- An innovation within the literary genre of the elegy that ranks as a major accomplishment, honoring its subject Nikos with a tribute he could have praised with his chosen accolade "innovative." Beautifully as well as frankly and delicately written, Plante's memorable work of memory evokes fundamental human emotions while tempering those hardest to bear with aesthetic, literary rigor. Read along with the author's "Becoming a Londoner," this book distills a life lived doubly. Gratefully, I have not been the same since I read it.
- This is a great book, a fast read, and a truly touching story
- The more I read this the more I liked it. It is not just about grief, but a review of their life together, and the grieving comes at the end.
- I was so entranced by "The Pure Lover" that I could not put it down. The author's tone was light and playful, describing his early love in fragments of memory. But as the joy turned into grief, Plante still managed to hold my attention without dragging me down into despair. I got to experience his emotion, while maintaining a safe distance away from the pain. A very good read.
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